Perhaps you may take pride in having a few like-minded friends with deep emotional bonds. But sometimes, you might feel distressed and puzzled by the growing distance between friends: there is no significant gap or conflict between you and your friends, so how could the friendship weaken? The reasons may come from various aspects, but if you pay attention to maintaining the following eight attitudes, your friendship will be continually strengthened.
1. Adapt your behavior, speak cautiously, and do not hurt your friends' self-esteem.
You may have been very close with your friends, sharing everything, and perhaps your talent, appearance, family, future, etc., are enviable, surpassing your friends. These favorable conditions may lead you to act without regard to the occasion, especially when you are with friends, showing off recklessly and manifesting yourself without restraint. Your speech may often reveal a clear sense of superiority, making others feel that you are speaking from a high position, intentionally flaunting yourself, which can hurt others' self-esteem and cause them to keep a respectful distance. Therefore, when interacting with friends, you should control your emotions, remain rational, adopt a humble attitude, be open-minded, place yourself on an equal footing with others, and always consider their presence and take their psychological tolerance into account.
2. Distinguish between each other, honor agreements, and do not let friends develop a sense of caution toward you.
Friends often have little distinction over possessions, but if you take a friend's belongings without permission, use them carelessly, fail to return them promptly, or refuse to return them altogether, over time, friends may perceive you as too presumptuous, leading them to be cautious and possibly straining the relationship. In reality, besides friendship, there is also a subtle contractual relationship between friends. Materially, you and your friend can borrow each other's items anytime, which goes beyond ordinary relationships. However, you should have a clear understanding of your friend's possessions: "Friend's belongings should be cherished even more." Treat your friend's items as part of the friendship, value the principle of reciprocity, and this will keep your friends' trust forever.
3. Avoid being careless, pay attention to details, and do not let friends despise or dislike you.
Among friends, your speech and behavior should be straightforward, generous, and friendly, without pretense, only then will your natural character shine through. But if you are too casual, lack self-discipline, and neglect small details, people will perceive you as crude and vulgar.Perhaps when you interact with ordinary people, you control yourself rationally, but when you get together with friends, you let yourself go—either gesturing freely, speaking carelessly and wildly, or interrupting your friends' words, mocking and ridiculing them, or looking around distractedly while listening, absent-minded. Perhaps this is your natural expression, but over time, friends may feel that you lack decorum and refinement, developing a sense of dislike and contempt for you, and thus change the impression they originally had of you. Therefore, in front of friends, you should remain natural while maintaining self-respect, be enthusiastic without being impolite, act with restraint and moderation, in order to win friends' lasting friendship.
4. Keep your promises and strictly honor agreements, so that friends don't feel you are untrustworthy
You may not value certain agreements between friends very highly, readily agreeing to your friends' requests and then changing your mind midway. Perhaps you genuinely have something that delays a scheduled meeting or prevents you from fulfilling a task entrusted by a friend, and maybe afterward you casually explain it, believing that friends can understand each other and that minor matters are insignificant. However, friends may become anxious and disappointed because of your broken promise. Although they may not criticize you directly, they will inevitably think that you are toying with their friendship, treating it as a casual game, and lacking trustworthiness. Therefore, any promise or task from a friend must be treated with care, keeping your word and being punctual, ensuring that a promise is a commitment, and never being untrustworthy.
5. When seeking help from friends, do not be forceful; avoid making friends think you are unreasonable or domineering
When you need help, the first choice is naturally a friend. However, if you make a sudden visit without prior notice to ask for help, or insist on dragging your friend to an activity whether they are willing or not, this puts your friend in an awkward position. If they already have plans they cannot change, it becomes even more difficult. If they agree to help, it disrupts their schedule; if they refuse, it is awkward socially. Maybe they outwardly appear willing, but inwardly feel displeased, thinking you are too domineering and unreasonable. Therefore, when you have a request, you must inform them beforehand, speak in a consultative tone, and try to make the request when your friend is free or willing.VI. Know the Occasion, Act Appropriately, and Don't Annoy Friends
When you visit a friend's home, if your friend is studying, entertaining other guests, meeting their partner, or preparing to go out, and you, relying on the fact that you are friends, ignore the situation and your friend's mood, sit for a long time, talk excessively, and dominate the conversation without considering that your friend may already be uncomfortable and impatient, your friend will certainly think that you are ill-mannered, inconsiderate, and insensitive, and in the future will try to avoid you, fearing that you will disturb their private life again. Therefore, in such situations, you must respond quickly, exchange a few polite words, and politely take your leave. You should understand that cherishing your friend's time and respecting their private life is as valuable as treasuring the friendship itself.
VII. Be Careful with Your Words, Use Jokes Properly, and Don't Make Friends Suddenly Find You Annoying
Sometimes, in public settings, to show off your eloquence, amuse the crowd, or express intimacy with a friend, you might use sharp language, mocking and ridiculing others, making a scene to get laughs and temporary pleasure. These actions often make your friends feel humiliated and think you are despicable, regretting having made friends with you. You might think joking between friends is no big deal, not realizing that you have hurt your friend's feelings. Therefore, when interacting with friends, especially in public, you should treat them politely, respect each other, and never make frivolous jokes or hurtful remarks.
VIII. Respect Friends, Be Receptive to Advice, and Don't Let Friends See You as Meddlesome
Being a friend means supporting each other; you should seriously consider and appropriately adopt well-intentioned advice. If you ignore this and stubbornly insist on your own views while disregarding your friend's words, you will suffer losses yourself, and your friend will bear the consequences. This will surely disappoint your friend, making them think you are autocratic, inconsiderate, and meddlesome, leading them to gradually distance themselves from you. Therefore, when making decisions, you should listen carefully to your friends' opinions, understand their goodwill, and even if you cannot adopt their suggestions, explain clearly, so your friends feel respected.
