[Life Philosophy] Deal with your mood first, then deal with matters

Handle your emotions first, then handle the situation — learning to communicate better\ Sometimes when we communicate, we unconsciously use 'negative', 'commanding', or 'top-down' ways of speaking, such as: 'You're wrong, you're wrong, you can't say it that way,' or 'Oh, how many times have I told you, you can't do it like this! Why are you so stupid, you never listen even when I tell you…' -\ Generally speaking, people don't like to be 'criticized or denied,' but sometimes in our conversations, we unknowingly show 'self-centeredness' and a 'sense of superiority,' thinking we are always right and others are always wrong. However, there's a saying: 'A forceful suggestion is a form of attack.' -\ Sometimes, even if our words come from good intentions, if the tone is too strong and we don't pay attention to the other person's feelings, it may sound like an attack to them and feel very uncomfortable. So at times, our hearts may have a sigh of resignation… -\ Do you know? Actually, I quite agree with your idea, but I really don't like your 'tone of speech.' In fact, I agree with your view, but I really don't like your 'attitude in speaking.' -\ Sometimes, we say: 'I'm a very rational person. Look, my door is always open, anyone can come in and talk to me anytime!' -\ But if 'our door is open, but our heart is closed,' what's the use of that? -\ Therefore, in communication, we must pay attention to the other person's feelings. After all, everyone has a 'need for self-esteem,' and everyone wants to be affirmed, praised, recognized, and agreed with, and does not like to be denied or belittled. -\ So, even if both parties have different opinions, we must achieve 'finding common ground in differences and communicating harmoniously,' 'speak your mind, but the tone should be much more tactful.' -\ Chinese characters are very interesting. Think about the character '我' (I), which two characters is it made of? It is 'hand' and 'spear.' -\ The character '我' actually means 'everyone holding knives, swords, or weapons in their hands,' which is why everyone often practices self-defense to protect themselves. -\ However, in communication, apart from defending oneself, one must also consider things from the other person's perspective.- Make good use of 'empathy,' and also learn to control your tongue: 'At the right time, say a beautiful word; and when necessary, stop yourself from saying something you shouldn't.' - Therefore, we must learn 'not to rush to speak, not to compete to speak, but to think before speaking,' and never 'seek the pleasure of verbal quickness' and regret it later, because words cannot be 'erased' or 'whited out'; once spoken, they cannot be taken back. - Additionally, in interpersonal communication, we must learn 'emotional endurance' and 'frustration tolerance,' because 'when temper flares, blessings disappear.' - When we encounter difficult problems, we must first calm down and avoid acting impulsively. We should also learn to 'handle emotions first, then handle matters,' so as not to make things worse. - There is a saying: 'The length of life is given by heaven, but the breadth of life is in our own hands.' Indeed, although we cannot control the 'length' of life, we can control the 'breadth' of life. - We can all learn in our daily life to communicate better, making interpersonal relationships smoother, and making life more beautiful and meaningful.