My Postmodern High School Life
I. Morning Self-Study
Male and female students, stepping in the slippers wet from rushing for water, squeezed out from the dirty toilet, squeezed out from the narrow door crack. They had cheap mousse on their heads, the strange smell of low-quality face wash on their faces, hurriedly buttoning up their shirts, and in a panic, rushed to the classroom. The homeroom teacher had already been waiting quietly for a long time.
"I really wish the homeroom teacher could make love every night until midnight," murmured Yang.
But the homeroom teacher still looked spirited, smiling at Yang and said, "Xiao Yang, you came earlier today than usual! Keep it up, okay."
Yang tried not to listen to these words, sat grumpily in his seat, and took out an English book. Soon, the classroom was filled with noisy voices.
"What is…"
"When will the bright moon appear? With a cup of wine, I ask the blue sky."
"The historical significance of the 'Tianmu System' is…"
Yang listened to these noises with extreme impatience, pressing his hands tightly over his ears, but the noises pierced through his fingers like needles, entering his outer ear and directly stabbing his eardrums.
Yang finally couldn't help but shout louder: "Ai lai wu you, hao dou you dou!" But the student at the front row shouted even louder: "Random rocks pierce the sky, crashing waves hit the shore!" The students in the back were not to be outdone; their voices seemed to pour all their strength: "Ze si lai mu ai li ka! Oh gu de mo ni!" After finishing, the echo lingered, followed by a long loud fart. It seemed that the overexertion of the vocal cord muscles during pronunciation caused internal pressure waves to rupture the anus, allowing the body's waste and toxins to escape in gaseous form. Hehe! The biology teacher said so anyway.
Yang savored it for a moment, sighed, and had to keep quiet, while his mind wandered: "That bearded security guard who caught him climbing the wall, the fat cook in the cafeteria who slapped him for cutting the line, and the classmate whose voice in morning reading drowned out his loud fart…" Thinking of this, Yang clenched his fists and thought fiercely: "I must take revenge." But then he touched his skinny waist and could only mutter to himself: "A gentleman's revenge is never too late, even after ten years.II. Evening Self-Study
Evening reading was about to end when Student Zhang pulled out the "Complete Works of Jin Yong." Feeling annoyed, he couldn't help but get angry. "Hmph, what a terrible book, utter nonsense..." He shoved it into the drawer, grabbed a Chinese textbook, and glanced at the door. The homeroom teacher had just arrived. "That was close," Student Zhang silently breathed a sigh of relief. Looking back, he saw: Student Tang was reading "Romance of the Three Kingdoms," Student Liu was reading "Princess Pearl," Student Wang was reading "Introduction to Go..."
Meanwhile, Student Ma and Student Yang were whispering:
"Who do you think is the prettiest girl in our class?"
"My seatmate, Xiao Hong."
"No, no, my seatmate Xiao Fang is the prettiest. Xiao Hong is just a bitch."
They didn't realize the homeroom teacher was standing at the door, raising an eyebrow, ears perked up, fists clenched. Student Zhang was secretly pleased: "You guys are in trouble, but I'm currently the most diligent student in evening self-study! Haha! The teacher will definitely praise me, hahaha!"
Thinking of the good part, he couldn't help but let out a sound, quickly glancing at the teacher. The homeroom teacher had already walked to the podium, raised a fist as big as a soup pot, and slammed it down with a tremendous bang that echoed throughout the class! It startled countless students:
Student Tang's headphones were knocked to the ground, Student Deng almost choked on a fishbone, and Student Lin accidentally nicked his flesh while trimming his nails.
The homeroom teacher cleared their throat and hummed. The two students in the front row quickly ducked down. Why? Because the teacher exuded a special smell of alcohol, smoke, and garlic that was overwhelming.
The teacher said, “I haven't checked on you for a few days, and this is how you slack off during evening self-study? I observed outside the classroom for a while just now and found that only Student Zhang was reading seriously. Everyone should take him as an example!”
Hearing that the teacher really praised him in public, Student Zhang was overjoyed and tried even harder to look like he was studying earnestly. His classmates cast admiring glances at him, but soon the classroom burst into laughter: it turned out Student Zhang had hastily picked up his Chinese textbook upside down and had been reading it upside down, pretending to study diligently – truly a unique skill.
