Newcomer posting a novel 'Conan: My Name is Shota,' not written very well, please be gentle with criticism

Only one chapter, the second chapter took several days and still isn't finished, written poorly so please go easy on criticism (┯_┯)\ The story unfolds on a cold, rainy night with a melodramatic plot…\ \ The pitch-black sky pressed down like dark clouds, making it hard to tell heaven from earth on this stormy night. It was late into the night, and the deserted streets only carried the sound of rain washing the dusty city.\ In the distance, a sudden beam of light cut through the darkness like a giant blade, racing forward, followed by the roar of an engine breaking the silence of the main road—another street racer on a rainy night.\ Xiaoxin, with one hand glumly supporting his cheek, skillfully drove the sports car with the other, glancing at the world outside the window. His sharply defined face was full of displeasure, the corners of his mouth slightly downturned, yet still exuded handsomeness and rebelliousness.\ Thinking about what had just happened between him and his girlfriend made him even more frustrated. With another heavy sigh, Xiaoxin muttered: “I can't believe she doesn't like Detective Conan, such a nuisance.”\ Indeed, this was what was troubling him. He had loved watching Detective Conan since middle school and still felt the same passion, but his girlfriend disliked it, saying it's too fake and that the detective work is boring. This had gradually made their relationship increasingly awkward. As for how they originally started dating, Xiaoxin couldn't quite remember, only vaguely recalling that they both liked cursing others: “Damn you, you stickler!”\ Earlier, the topic of Detective Conan sparked yet another argument, and Xiaoxin ended the conversation unpleasantly by slamming the door and leaving.\ Sigh, things hadn't improved at all in high school either. Just thinking about it gave him a headache. What would he do in the future? Xiaoxin furrowed his brows tightly.\ “Sharp right turn ahead. Drive carefully in the rain.” The mechanized female voice of the navigation system sounded in the car, breaking the previous gloomy atmosphere.\ Xiaoxin glanced at the navigation map and his lips curved into a slight smile: Alright, I won't think about these headaches for now; let's just enjoy ourselves first!\ Shifting gears, pressing the accelerator, the black sports car sped through the rainy night streets like a phantom, its roaring engine venting his inner emotions!\ The street racing begins!\ With Xiaoxin's movements, the sports car left perfect drifting marks around the corners.He was already very familiar with these techniques, so using them was extremely effortless.\ Just as he slightly opened his mind, a dazzling beam of strong light suddenly shot in from the car window. In an instant, Xiaoxin lost his sense of vision! Then, he only heard a deafening noise, and the intense pain surging from all over his body instantly overwhelmed him…\ \ “Bin Laden, the terrorist…”\ A person entirely hidden in a black robe looked at the small notebook in his hand, then turned his gaze toward the ordinary man being escorted at the foot of the steps.\ “Lord Death, this person has committed a great crime in the human world and should be severely punished.” The little girl beside the black-robed person looked at Bin Laden with disdain and tilted her head as she spoke to him.\ Bin Laden at the foot of the steps seemed to sense the hostility from the little girl and nervously said something, but it was soon swallowed up in this blood-red world full of the aura of death.\ “Hmm, then let him descend to the eighteenth level of hell.” The black-robed person said casually.\ As soon as the words fell, Bin Laden was quickly escorted out of the hall.\ “Next, Liu Zhi, who was beaten to death by mall security for stealing items.” The black-robed person momentarily forgot the man being escorted at the foot of the steps and slowly said. His tone was calm as water, yet it made one feel pressure and fear from the depths of the soul.\ “Stealing is not a grave offense; let him reincarnate as a pig for two lives.”\ “Next, Zhao Tiezhu, who was beaten to death by a forced demolition team as a stubborn resident,” this time the black-robed person didn't even glance at the old man at the foot of the steps as he continued, “Go reincarnate.”\ “Ah, how boring,” the little girl sighed, “always going one by one like this, it's deathly boring.” Listening to her complaints, it seemed as if she were the worker herself, though standing all the time really was tiring…\ “Stop sighing. After all, the other death gods also share a lot of the work,” the black-robed person comforted, then looked again at the small notebook in his hand, “Next, Lin Xiaoxin, who died in a car accident while speeding on a rainy night.”\ As he spoke, Xiaoxin, who had no idea why, was escorted in by two people in white robes. The sight was soaked in red, filled with a deathly silence that made Xiaoxin feel extremely oppressed.\ Just as Xiaoxin was examining himself, a voice came from ahead: “Eh, lift your head and let me see.”\ Xiaoxin instinctively looked ahead and saw a person in a black robe sitting on the high steps. A faint black mist surrounded him, making it impossible to figure him out. His chair was entirely dark red, and the patterns on it were as terrifying as flowing blood. The chair itself was domineering, but the way the person in the black robe sat... was way too feminine! \ However, Xiaoxin didn't pay attention to that. When he saw the person in the black robe speak, he was astonished and said, “Eh eh eh, you can actually talk?!” \ The little girl beside the black-robed person immediately shouted angrily, “What do you mean by that!” \ Xiaoxin, who had just been escorted by the two people in white robes, was naturally confused. How did he end up here? Wasn't he supposed to be racing? After thinking it over, his brain struggled to calculate that he might already be dead, and the two people escorting him were likely figures like the Black and White Impermanence. So he started asking them questions, but the white-robed people didn't make a sound, treating him as if he were invisible. By the end, Xiaoxin blew up, thinking, “Damn it, you rigid god!” But he still got nothing out of them. Now that he finally found someone who could speak human language, it was no wonder he was surprised. \ Seeing Xiaoxin constantly staring at Lord Death without answering his questions, the little girl shouted, “Lord Death, this guy is insane. He should be sent to the eighteenth layer of hell!” \ Damn, are these the Reapers? And they want to send me to the eighteenth layer of hell? Damn it, you rigid god! Although Xiaoxin thought this inside, he cautiously said aloud, “Um, I didn't do anything wrong, right? There's no need to send me to the eighteenth layer of hell. One layer is enough...” \ “Hey handsome, what's your name again?” The person in the black robe tossed aside his notebook with a swoosh, ran down the steps somewhat anxiously, and urgently asked Xiaoxin as he got closer. \ “Uh, didn't you just read my name? Why are you asking again? Are you crazy?” Xiaoxin looked at the black-robed person with disgust. The guy was a grown man, effeminate, and seemed interested in him. Just thinking about it made him want to curse, damn it, you rigid god!For the first time in his life, Xiaoxin felt that being handsome was also a kind of pain...\ The person in the black robe seemed to realize something. He quickly pulled off the robe from his head and looked at Xiaoxin foolishly, saying, 'But I'm a girl~'\ With waterfall-like long hair, long and curled eyelashes, a delicate nose, willow-like eyebrows, and cherry lips, for a moment, Xiaoxin was stunned—what a beautiful girl...\ Wait, something's wrong, this guy is a Shinigami?! How can a Shinigami look like this? Even if I die, I feel like they're teasing me!\ 'Y-you-y-you are a Shinigami?' Xiaoxin asked in uncertainty.\ 'Yes, you don't believe I am a Shinigami?' The Shinigami looked innocent, as if they hadn't done anything wrong.\ 'Master Shinigami, besides being handsome, this guy has no redeeming qualities; he's just a lunatic. He should be sent to the eighteen levels of hell!' The little girl crossed her arms, furrowing her brows fiercely. Even though she was angry, she didn't look too menacing—after all, she was still a cute girl...\ 'I didn't say anything wrong. You're talking about sending me to the eighteen levels of hell for no reason... I just died accidentally. I wasn't executed, shot, struck by lightning, or in a crash. Is it really necessary to go to hell? And Master Shinigami, you need to know that you are a Shinigami and I am human, between us...' Xiaoxin blinked, implying very clearly: there's no way between us.\ 'Don't misunderstand, I just want to... open the backdoor when I see a handsome guy...' The Shinigami pressed her forehead, helplessly.\ In the distance, the little girl pouted but finally stopped talking—this kind of scenario wasn't too unusual.\ 'So, that means I'm not the first one?' Xiaoxin felt embarrassed.\ The Shinigami nodded.\ 'Then how many handsome guys have opened the backdoor before me?' He thought, feeling even more that Master Shinigami was unreliable. Well, in fact, he was just jealous of those before him...\ 'Uh, well, for instance, Xiang Yu, he in his previous life was a flirtatious young man who only knew how to chase girls; then there's Li Bai, he in his previous life was an unemployed drifter who couldn't do anything, and after being scolded by many people, he committed suicide; then there's Einstein, he in his previous life...'\ 'I know!' Xiaoxin immediately interrupted, 'So, you can fulfill my wish?'\ Damn. You immortal stick-in-the-mud, your taste is so bizarre, do your parents know?... Wait, does this guy even have parents?\ 'Mm.' The Shinigami nodded again.Hearing her affirmative answer, Xiaoxin's eyes instantly turned fiery. If he could, the wish he absolutely had to fulfill was…
"To go to Conan's world!" Xiaoxin said seriously, "Let me go to Conan's world!"
He thought for a moment, then asked, "Do you know Conan?"
"Of course, it's not like no one has traveled to the 2D world before."
"Impressive, you even know the term '2D'." Thinking about being able to travel to Conan's world, Xiaoxin wanted to, well, he really wanted to.
"Do you have any other wishes?"
"Are there other wishes I can have?" Xiaoxin's eyes, already burning, became even more intense.
The little girl gave Xiaoxin a disdainful glance.
Seeing the death god nod, Xiaoxin began his ultimate fantasy: "First, let me become fully proficient in Japanese, then give me the protagonist's aura, so I can't die or be poisoned; then I need superpowers, like splitting space with a snap of my fingers, or if not, at least let me have all the abilities of a top-tier assassin… Let's start with these, I can think of more later." Xiaoxin looked at the death god's delicate face with love and hope.
"You can only have two wishes, so I'll help you choose proficiency in Japanese and superpowers. Alright, time is limited, prepare yourself, and I'll send you to Conan's world now."
Xiaoxin was stunned. You mean I can make wishes? Clearly, you're the one choosing for me! Well, having wishes is enough, but you kept telling me to prepare before going to Conan's world, and now, before I'm ready, you've sent me to a pitch-black world…
…
……
Alright, I've traveled.
"Lord Death, you did this again." The little girl said displeased.
The death god stuck out his little tongue and smiled, "This is the last time."
"It's always the last time, really can't do anything with you…" The little girl rubbed her forehead and sighed.