A bunch of bad jokes→_→

: 1. A: "Why are you so tall? You must be over 1.7 meters tall. Are your parents that tall?" B: "No, my parents are only over 1.6 meters tall." A: "Oh~ The gene has mutated~" B suddenly became anxious and shouted, "Where is the mutation! My uncle is only 1.8 meters!" 2. Dad and son were sleeping when they heard the newlywed couple next door making a lot of noise. Due to the poor sound insulation, the son asked: "Dad, what is this sound?" The father calmly replied: "This is Japanese, you will understand it when you grow up!" 3. The four major traitors in Chinese history are: hoeing at noon, hematopoietic stem cells, Along the River During the Qingming Festival, compound grass coral... 4. I have had an old enemy since I was a child. My child, this other people's child never plays games or chats on QQ. He studies every day. He is good-looking and obedient. He ranks first in the grade. He has a rich boyfriend. He has been admitted to graduate school and civil service. His monthly salary is 7,000. He knows how to cook, do housework, and can speak eight foreign languages. It only costs 400 a month for living expenses when he goes to school in another place. 5. In this lonely world, except for 10086 who will take the initiative to send me messages, except for 10086 who will answer my call immediately, except for 10086 who will care about how much phone bill I have, except for 10086 who will send blessings every season, Except for 10086, who will turn on my phone 24 hours a day. In this world of one person, except for 10086, who will think of me and who will care about me! 6. In order to prove that spiders' hearing is on their feet, experts conducted an experiment. First, they put a spider on the experimental table, and then yelled at the spider, and the spider ran away! ! ! Then I caught the spider back, cut off all its legs, and yelled at the spider. Sure enough, the spider stopped moving! ! ! So experts published a paper proving that spiders' hearing is in their feet. 7. Shenzhen Development Bank launched a female-themed credit card with the slogan “I want to develop deeply with you.” Someone with good intentions added: "It's impossible to achieve success." 8. The first cold joke in human history: In ancient times, two monkeys were walking on the road. As we were walking, one said: "Hey, why are we walking away standing?" After a while, the other turned around and said: "...Aren't we monkeys? How can we talk?" 9. I am a senior, and one day I was watching porn movies alone in the dormitory. My roommate pushed the door in. I quickly minimized and pretended to be playing a game. He glanced at me and said quietly, four years later, we brothers still haven't been able to treat each other with sincerity. 10. A couple bought a sea-view villa after working hard for several years. Because of the huge pressure to repay the mortgage, I still have to leave early and come back late every day. However, what his nanny does most every day is to hold the family dog ​​on the balcony to bask in the sun, watch the sea, and drink coffee... 11. A certain netizen's signature: I wish him to live as long as the teacher gives me points. As a result, someone in the class added some words before and after the horizontal line where the teacher filled in the score on the exam paper, turning it into "Teacher, I wish you live to be _____ years old." 12. I received a text message: "Starting from 15:31 today, I will My wife is about to sleep with someone else's husband, and I have to happily wait for him to wash, change clothes, and take a shower. There is no way he brought a gun." I looked at it and couldn't understand it. When I looked at the sender, I couldn't believe that the birth of a child could be announced like this! 13. A certain netizen: I have been a virgin for 21 years, and finally the night before yesterday... it became 22 years... 14. "Honey, you are the cutest person I have ever seen!~" "Muma!~ Husband, I like people like you who have never seen the world..." 15. Final exam of the Department of Law: "Try to give an example of the difference between 'law' and 'law' in the word law?" A female student replied: "Of course it is different. If I tell my mother that my boyfriend is a 'lawyer', she will be very happy; if I say that my boyfriend is a 'lawyer', she will definitely beat me to death."16. My wife called her husband, who is a programmer: "I bought a pound of steamed buns on the way after get off work and brought them back. If I see a watermelon seller, buy one." That night, the programmer husband came into the house with a bun in his hand... The wife said angrily: "Why did you just buy a bun?" ! The husband replied: "Because I saw a watermelon seller." 17. The art teacher asked the students: "Why did you hand in a blank paper?" ". The student said: "I drew it! What I drew was a cow eating grass. The teacher asked: "Where is the grass?" He said: "Been eaten by cattle." The teacher asked: "What about the cow?" He said: "After eating grass, I left." "