【Obscene joke】It’s just a bit obscene O(∩_∩)O～

Tang Monk was caught by the banshee and tied up in a cave. Tang Monk asked: "Who is the female benefactor?" The banshee took off her clothes and said: "I will know if you lick it." Tang Monk said: "I obey, little monk." After licking it for a while, Tang Monk said: "It's so fresh!" The banshee showed her true form and said: "Yes, I am the chicken essence!" —————————————————————————When I was a child, my mother said to me: The wolf is coming; when I was in school, my classmates said to me: The teacher is coming; after I got married, my friend said to me: Your wife is coming; now, my lover says to me: I haven't come this month—— ----------I asked a friend what the password for his photo album was. He gave me a 17-digit string of English words "cptbtptpbcptdtptp". I asked in surprise: "It's so long, how can you remember it?" He replied weakly: "Eat Portuguese" If you don't eat the grapes, you will spit them out!”——————————————————————After the newlyweds had a night of passion, the satisfied husband wanted to test whether his wife was pure, so he pointed at the words and asked: “Wife, what do you call it?” Wife: "What a small penis!" The husband was satisfied that he had married a pure wife, and said proudly: "We are all adults, and we will call it j8 from now on." The wife said seriously: "I have seen too many j8! Yours is just a small penis!" - After the passion, I stood up and took out a cigarette from my trouser pocket, but I couldn't find a lighter, so I asked the girl if there was any fire around her? "There seem to be matches in the first drawer." the girl replied. I opened the drawer of the bedside table and saw a matchbox. There was a photo of a strange man under the matchbox. I thought it was strange, so I asked curiously: "Is he your husband?" "Of course not, fool!" The girl snuggled next to me. "Is that your boyfriend?" I asked. "No, it's not!" the girl replied, sucking my ear gently. "Then, who could this be?" I asked, full of doubts. "That's who I was before the surgery..." ------- A handsome guy wanted to buy condoms but didn't know the size. The service lady had no choice but to check them and said to her colleagues: "Here's a box of 5-inch ones, not 7-inch ones." . . Oh, my God, get the toilet paper. . ——————————————————————————————A new foreigner moved into the hotel. In the evening, the foreigner called for help and said, “My TV is broken and I can't change the channel.” The waiter looked down at his watch and said calmly: "Chinese TV will be like this from 7 to 7:30 in the evening." ---------------------- A kissing scene appeared on TV. The father was afraid that his son would be adversely affected, so he asked his son to get a glass of water. Soon, there was another kissing scene on TV. The father asked his son to get another glass of water. The son asked: Dad, do you feel thirsty when you see someone kissing you? -------------------------Dear, I love you. If I betray you, God will punish me. Soon, he betrayed his wife. One day, when he encountered a storm on the plane, he remembered that oath. He knelt down and prayed: "God, although my sin is irredeemable, please forgive me for the sake of other innocent passengers." Suddenly, a voice sounded in his ear: 什么无辜?你以为这些年来我闲着吗?凑满这一飞机人我容易吗?-------------------------------妻子整理房间时发现了一张丈夫和一位陌生女子的合影照片,便询问丈夫是怎么回事。丈夫不以为然地说:“这是五年前和女友的合影,早已经和她断绝关系了。 The wife said loudly: "Did you put on the sweater I knitted for you just last year five years ago?""-------------------" "The girl reacted very quickly and immediately replied: "Waiter is what you call me, and miss is what we call you..." The middle-aged woman was speechless...--------------------------------A certain woman has long dreamed of traveling through time and becoming a peerless beauty. One day, I finally traveled through time and found that I had become an ancient woman. I eagerly took a look in the mirror. She really had green eyebrows and clear eyes. When I was feeling itchy and unbearable, I suddenly saw a tall man sticking his head out from the stairs, frowning and shouting murderously: "Sister-in-law, come down, Wu Song has something to say." "