Perverted poster and violent rape reply

1. Host: Why didn't Monk Tang cut off his penis and give it away? Reply: It is estimated that Tang Monk's penis is too young, and he is too embarrassed to show it, and others are too embarrassed to look for it. Most people can't find it yet. It may be that it has not been used for a few lifetimes and has degraded. It is true that he can't find it. It's not that he doesn't want to give it away. If it had been eaten by the Tang Dynasty King, the Tang Dynasty would still be in its heyday. 2. Posted by: I finally found a piece of non-pornographic news on NetEase. Do you want to read it? The Central Meteorological Observatory issued the National Day weather forecast. Reply: Haha, is this also pornographic? Vagina is cloudy. 3. Poster: Which one is more cost-effective, a dog or a man? Reply: Auntie, even if you can treat a man like a dog, do you dare to treat a dog like a man? 4. Poster: In a company's year-end assessment, a man from the administrative department commented on a woman: Are you easily excited when doing things? Reply: A woman in the secretarial department commented on a man: Things don't last long. 6. Host: I am a 26-year-old divorced woman who has given birth to children. Now three unmarried men are pursuing me at the same time. I don't know who to choose to accompany me for the rest of my life. Can anyone from Tianya give me some advice? Reply: Well, I suggest lz find the thickest one! 7. Poster: Do you want Li Yuchun or Zhang Ziyi as a man? Reply: A rooster or a pheasant, neither choice 8. Originally Answered: What does it mean that "dry cleaning" and "leisure" are written on both doors at the entrance of the hair salon? ! Reply: The service here is to let you "dry" + "wash", so once you come in, you can "rest" and "free". 9. The poster: I am going to be circumcised, but I don't want to meet a female doctor for treatment. I have been embarrassed for a long time and asked everyone what to do. What should I say? Reply: I told you to change the turtleneck into a lapel. 10. The original poster: I found a girlfriend and we are about to talk about marriage. Then I found out that she had had relationships with more than a dozen male prostitutes. I felt very painful. I don't know whether I should continue with her... Reply: The male prostitutes who have slept with your woman can fill a minibus. Do you need a reinforcement company to feel comfortable? 21. Host: My bf and I have known each other for 4 years, but he never ejaculates when we do that, but he can ejaculate when I use my mouth. It's so strange and I'm so worried. Please tell me what's going on? Reply: He is probably from the national football team! 22. Posted by: From the incident of people drinking mineral water to death in Hainan, we can see that China's food safety is worrying. Can people drink mineral water to death? Isn't there a qs mark? Reply: Let me ask you weakly, does qs mean to die? 23. Post owner: A certain pervert used two black dots in his reply. I don't know why? Reply: Mom, this expert only used two points in his reply. I thought there was dust on the screen and I couldn't wipe it off with my hands, so I took a sip of saliva to wipe it off... 24. Postmaster: I love you downstairs! Reply: Now that things have happened, I have to admit that you are the most outstanding friend I have ever known. I feel very happy to be with you, really. Sorry for the extra typing. 25. The original poster: It's already very late at night, and he's still sitting next to the computer, with no intention of sleeping at all. I really can't bear it anymore. I don't know what to do? Reply: My dear, stop playing around. Breasts are much more comfortable than touching them with a mouse. 26. Post owner: I have been living with my girlfriend for half a year and I am still a virgin (it's not that I have any physical problems and am depressed). Reply: Post owner, you can do it. After living together for half a year, even Furongjj has sex. You can go to the Special Olympics right away. 27. Host: One day. I was chatting with several male colleagues in the office. That's pretty much what men talk about. Let me ask you this: Do you men all talk with your lower body? Reply: Aren't you women obedient with your lower body? 28. Poster: It has been scientifically proven that the strongest and most powerful muscle in the human body is the tongue. Reply: I always thought it was JJ.29. Poster: The moment you are hit by static electricity is indeed very painful, no less than ordinary electricity. Friends from Tianya, have you encountered this kind of situation? How did you solve it? Please give me some advice. Reply: When you go out, tie a chain around your waist and drag it to the ground so that the electricity can be discharged. It just makes too much noise when you walk, but I understand! It turns out that the prisoners' shackles are actually a welfare, designed to protect the prisoners from static electricity. Or you can tie it up with wire and stretch it quietly from your pants to the ground. It's very quiet and you don't have to worry about any noise. 30. Poster: Please tell me about your experience of buying condoms for the first time. Reply: The first time I went there, the girl asked if I wanted a large or a small size. I thought it was the same size as the size on the clothes and said I wanted two extra sizes. 31. Posted by: I am a virgin and I meet a female pervert while driving... What should I do? Reply: "Yo west!" He snapped his fingers excitedly, opened the door and got out of the car, and started doing various movements, pressing his palms to expand his chest, twisting his neck and twisting his butt. Bian explained: It is very necessary to fully warm up before strenuous exercise. He shrank back hard, protecting his chest with one hand and holding the car door with the other: What, what do you mean? Don't come over. Sister, are you kidding me? After all, I'm still a young girl. It's rare that I'm so lucky to be able to take advantage of you today. ——It's up to you to give out the red envelope as much as you like. Locking each other's eyes with a smile: What a good suggestion! The moon is dark and the wind is high, there is no one in the wilderness, crazy men and women hate each other, and firewood is burning. Do we have any other choice? He closed his eyes and fell down on his seat, saying in a trembling voice: You, come on. Whatever you want is fine. Panting heavily, he pounced like a male leopard, tore his clothes like a male dog, grunted like a boar, and moaned like a male cat. 32. Posted by: Today I met a classmate who happened to fly to Guangzhou from a different city and got on the same bus. What should I do? Reply: I held my classmate's hand and regretted not doing so in the first place. 34. Posted by: Are those people who wear watches these days out of their minds? Reply: The one wearing one watch has no water in it, and the one wearing three watches must have water in it. 35. Poster: There is a student who ranks last in grades every year and often fights with others. According to the leader's request, the teacher wants to give the students a nicer final comment. How should he write it? Reply: The student has stable grades and strong practical ability. 37. Host: The leader has arranged a lot of things today, how can we deal with them? Reply: After lying down, why are you still standing? 38. Original poster: I met a male netizen today and he kept hinting that he wanted to have sex. I would like to ask: Is it true that the purpose of meeting netizens now is to have sex? Reply: Netizens don't go to bed when they meet? Are you kidding, everyone is so busy. 39. Postmaster: There are always little boys chasing me, haha. Can you guess how old I am? Reply: Auntie, forgive me for being direct, I just pointed at your two front teeth. I guess the boys who are chasing you must be trying to open beer bottles... 40. Host: I am a virgin, I am a little scared, and I beg for help in identifying virgins, because "The Origin of Species" says: The genes of the men a woman has had will affect her future offspring with other men... Do you believe it? If you can't find a virgin, you'd rather be a bachelor. Reply: Are you going to bother Grandpa Darwin over such a stupid thing? 41. Host: My wife doesn't like flowers, what should I give her? Reply: Cucumber. The most thorny one. Alas, as a man, I feel sad for you! Your wife is clearly hinting to you that she needs it! Because she doesn't like flowers, it's because she likes cao! Sin, sin! 42. Post owner: The woman next door disturbed others by moaning late at night, and I severely criticized her! Reply: I am disturbing you. After listening to the poster for so many nights, I didn't find a hole in the bed the next day?? 43. The poster: I found a carrot on my girlfriend's bed. I asked her sharply: “What's going on?” Reply: The poster's girlfriend: “This is what I left over from feeding the rabbit yesterday as a snack, isn't it okay?44. Posted by: One day, when I came out of the toilet, I was observing the sky at night, and suddenly I saw the Big Dipper star straightening out. I counted it with my fingers and discovered that this earth-shaking, ghost-weeping event was the official launch of Project Dragon by the Chinese Football Association. Reply: There are still people who talk about how talented Chinese football is. The Deaf Plan... You say yours, they are deaf... 45. The original poster: The moth balls in the urinal smell really good. Every time I see them, I have the urge to pick them up and take a bite! Do you have any? Reply: lz I really enjoy it. I have researched this. People who often eat mothballs in the urinals will live forever. I said why the company's urinals are so quiet. I put the mothballs one by one and threw them away. It turned out that they were eaten secretly by your kid. I am sure you also drank Huang Cola. Please eat more and support lz 46. The original poster: I met a girl at a friend's birthday party and asked her out last night, and then something happened (5,000 words omitted). Help! The hickey on my neck won't go away, why won't my wife castrate me when I go back? Reply: Depressed, my current girlfriend used this method to successfully break up my ex-girlfriend. You are still trying so hard to hide it, do you think your wife's body will be less than yours? 47. Host: That night I slept with my wife's lover's wife and daughter. Reply: The poster can support you just by looking at the title, that's awesome. Why can't I do it? It seems that once you have gained experience in being a cuckold, you can write novels, pretty cool. 48. Host: Violent rape! When Indian songs are subtitled in Northeastern dialect (a video that shocked millions of netizens to death) Reply: The lightning rod failed, I was so shocked that I was scorched on the outside and tender on the inside. I am so talented. Isn't lz's grandfather's surname Bi? 49. Poster: Let's talk about China's 30-minute news broadcast. Reply: What can I say: In the first ten minutes, the leaders were very busy. Ten minutes later, people all over the country are happy. In the next ten minutes, people in other countries around the world were living in dire straits. 50. The original poster: Take photos of yourself and my wife. Please don't post too harshly! Reply: The eldest girl has to be very tactful! I'm not handsome enough for you! ...There will be waves of attacks launched! The poster, just wait~ 51. The poster: My husband thinks my vagina is loose and wants to play with my anus. what do I do? Reply: Buy a pot of chrysanthemums and let him learn flower arrangement. 52. Poster: The acupoints of Chinese martial arts! Reply: The acupuncture points are not for acupuncture, but for healing! 53. The original poster: I will still be Chinese in my next life! Would you like to? Reply: If there is an afterlife, I don't want to be Chinese, I just want to be a Chinese panda. He is served every day and is still everyone's national treasure! 54. Host: I'm over 40 and there are still many things I don't understand. Who should I ask? Reply: Ask Google for foreign affairs, Baidu for domestic affairs, and Tianya for sexual matters! 55. Poster: Which is the number one city in China, Beijing or Shanghai? Reply: Are you annoyed that these two cities are the only ones on the entire map of China? ! You think the map of China is a bra! 56. Host: Did the Olympic closing ceremony go well? Reply: I don't know if it's good or not, but my wife hasn't vomited during her two months of pregnancy. She made me vomit while watching the closing ceremony today! 57. Post owner: My girlfriend disappeared without mercy, leaving me only a few hundred bras! I'm going crazy! Reply: You can set up a stall to sell bras, and put up a sign that says: Big sale with tears, price reduction for girlfriend's elopement, good management, become China's number one underwear tycoon in 3 years, and the future bra tycoon is about to emerge. You can also leave it to your future wife and say to her: Before I met you, I had already prepared the underwear you will wear for the rest of your life. 58. Postmaster: Reveal the true face of the class reunion. Reply: When comrades-in-arms meet comrades-in-arms, it means drinking heavily; when classmates meet classmates, it means breaking out of shoes. The more thoughtful ones are getting under the covers, the less thoughtful ones are nagging, not too much and not too little, groping randomly, the single-minded ones are singing, and the less thoughtful ones are drinking. 59. Original poster: After watching the Olympic opening ceremony, I finally understand! "Bird's Nest" is a pigeon's nest!Reply: I used to ask designers to build a bird's nest because there are too many bird people in China? 60. Poster: Where should I put the paper after wiping my butt? Reply: Put it in the wastebasket and export it to Japan when you have enough. 63. Posted by: Women's volleyball players always hit the ground with their breasts first when saving the ball. If this happens often, will it damage their breasts? Reply: Why didn't the poster ask, male players always hit the ground first when saving the ball. If this happens often, will they hit the bad guy? 65. The original poster: In the eyes of monkeys, humans are sick monkeys, severely deformed, with few body hairs and no tails. Reply: You are wrong! Because what they see is that human tails grow in front and are not long enough. 66. Original poster: CCTV's “Xinwen Lianbo” is my favorite TV program. Reply: This kind of thing can last for decades, <